Facilitator FAQ

Relationships Awareness theory and the SDI

Recently I was reading about the idea of the Descriptive and Normative Models for theory building. I believe SDI is a descriptive model. We do have evidence of “correlation” between the MVS score and how motivation leads to behavior. What we don’t have is “causality” (X causes to Y). As we use the SDI, each application is a normative approach with the individual user telling us how it relates or does not relate to them. Thoughts?

My first reaction to the question of causality is that it is inconsistent with Relationship Awareness Theory anyway.  Elias Porter (and Carl Rogers) believed in a person-centered approach that involved freedom of choice in between motivation and behaviour.  To prove causality would be, I think, impossible and even if we could prove it, it would be limiting to the participants who then complete the SDI as it would remove some of their experience of choice regarding their own behaviour.

We might better say that each time we use the SDI it is a heuristic (self-discovery) approach with the individual user learning about how it relates or does not relate to them — and to their future choices about behaviour and the results they are seeking in their relationships.

The real value of the SDI experience is in the dialogue, not the description.  While I agree that the Theory is Descriptive rather than Normative, I believe that is its strength.  If we were dealing with a theory about a physical phenomena, I would absolutely agree that we should move toward a normative theory. But I think there is a problem with any personality type theory that claims predictive validity and I don’t want Personal Strengths and the SDI to become part of the problem.

Tim Scudder, CEO, Personal Strengths USA

The SDI and Conflict

I have completed the SDI before, do I have to do it again?
Yes, it is always a good idea to do this as it is a good test/retest measure and most people describe it as being more refined on future occasions.

I never feel good when I’m at work, how can I do this properly?
Focus on situations when and where you do feel good about yourself.

Can I use the SDI for recruitment?
No, it’s not designed for this purpose and it deals with motivations and not competency.

Can I do the conflict page later?
Yes, although it is preferable to complete both pages at the same time as it maintains focus.

My dot has moved!
By how much?  + or – 6 points is statistically the same so movement of around+ or – 6 points is quite acceptable although movement in and around the Hub is more likely due to the flexible nature of the value system.

If the movement is more than this parameter, consider:

• was the SDI introduced to you in the same way last time?
• were you asked to focus on all life situations?

These two will typically answer “no”.

The most important question is: Which do you feel most comfortable with? To which we say: Go with the one they say is them.  Do not become an expert on them!

I thought I would/they would have been more… Blue, Red, Green, etc.
They are probably still focusing on behaviours rather than what motivates them.  This is particularly common when judging the motivation of others, team members, colleagues, etc.

Can you run this for everyone at each level in an organisation?
Yes, with different training needs at each level, the SDI can be adapted to provide a common language and become the thread that runs through any organisation.

Do people with long arrows have short fuses?
Not necessarily, the length of the arrow simply means that others notice the difference more quickly.

Do people with short arrows not get into conflict as often as others?
The frequency that people get into conflict is related to their perceptions of threats to their self-worth.  People with short arrows may be in their first stage of conflict but it is not visible to others.

I don’t recognise the last stage as described, is it wrong?
Some people have never been to their last stage in the sequence.  If the first two stages are correct then, if pushed far enough, the last stage will be accurate.  If these individuals imagine what the experience would be like they typically describe it as the worst thing that could happen.

I have a Red MVS, but Red is my last stage in conflict, how come?
There is no connection between the MVS and the conflict sequence.  In as much as if you have one then we can’t predict the other, it just happens to be your preferred way of addressing conflict or opposition.

The SDI says I am a Hub in conflict but sometimes I go Red and then other occasions I go Blue and I do know that I go Green as well.  Sometimes I just want to create harmony in the group and get everyone together and discuss options so that everyone can contribute.  A lot depends on how I am feeling on that day or who I am dealing with and of course what the issue is.  I have listened to everyone else and I recognise and agree with everything that I have here – am I in the right place on the triangle?
Thanks for answering your own question!

A colleague of mine just winds me up all the time with the way they behave, what can I do?
Assuming that the behaviour is not illegal or inappropriate in a commercial/social setting and the individual has been given feedback on the effect their behaviour is having, there are two things you are left with and are responsible for:

1. your behaviour towards them; change this and you may get a different reaction
2. your perception; change this and you will feel different.

Is it possible to skip stages?
Yes, if you have had a history of resolving conflict with a person at a later stage you may skip the non-productive stages and go straight to the stage that has worked for you before.  This also can occur with unresolved conflict where you may leave a meeting at stage one, go about your business quite normally but on returning to the meeting, with the conflict still unresolved, will return also to your first stage in conflict.

Is using your conflict style always negative?
It depends on the outcome.  Some individuals can be very effective with their conflict styles, often describing it as necessary to “clear the air” or overcome opposition.

Portrait of Strengths

How do the results from the Portrait of Personal Strengths relate to the results from the SDI?
The SDI gives answers to how people are motivated.  This motivation is upheld by a set of behaviours.  The PPS shows what these behaviours are.  For example, one may be motivated by Red (Assertive-Directive) yet their behaviours may come from other motivation is such as “devoted” or “analytic”.  We can then ask the participant why it is that they use analytic to serve a red motivation.  Often you will get the answer that speaks to this … such as: “if I get the best data, I can then influence my colleagues more quickly”.

We have a tendency to use of “top strengths” in situations and  when we use these we feel good about ourselves.  But there are situations where we “borrow” other strengths to serve our motivation.  It is this self-knowledge that adds power to our choices.

I have three strengths in the top six on my portrait that do not match my MVS, does this mean I’m under stress?
Only you can answer that, but what can happen is that people develop behavioural strengths from all over the triangle and if, over time, they work for them and serve their MVS it can become part of their Valued Relating Style and can be used regularly with no feelings of stress at all.

I have completed the Portrait considering my whole life but I am different at work.
It is very likely that you would organise the strengths differently if you considered the work situation only.  This is quite natural as whatever environment we find ourselves in will create certain needs or demands on you as a person.

In coaching we need to create more choices for our clients.  How does this help?
The Portrait enables clients to see which behaviours they use most regularly so you can discuss when and where they are appropriate.  Most often new behaviours that are required will be lower down on the portrait – using a solutions focus e.g. Where has this worked for you?  When have you felt comfortable using this behaviour before?  You can set specific goals for the client to “borrow” those strengths, temporarily place that strength at the top of the portrait to get a better result, then put it back again.

When I “borrow” behaviours, it feels uncomfortable and false, surely the other person will notice and see me as being manipulative?
When we try to communicate more effectively we are manipulating our own behaviour but not the person, the intention is to benefit the other person.  It is like speaking a new language, at first it is clumsy and we may convey a slightly different meaning, however, when we become more practised, the other person is simply aware of you communicating at their level – even at the early stages others will appreciate the effort you make e.g. (to Red) “I will keep this as short and to the point as I can.”

Can the Portrait be use situationally?
The Portrait was designed to be used with a whole life perspective but it does provide value when looking at specific situations when preparing for feedback or personal development e.g. create a portrait of the strengths you use when in the role of leadership.  You can then review what is working best for the team and possibly highlight some behaviours that need to be developed to enhance the overall performance of that leader- this is especially powerful when used in conjunction with the Expectations Portrait.

Can you use the Portrait on its own without the SDI?
Yes, however using the two together provides the highest potential for learning.

The Portrait is in the Premier Edition SDI, it is available separately?
Yes, this enables you to complete the Standard SDI first and then use the Portraits later if you are running a modular program.

I would like to find out if my colleagues see me acting from a position of Strength, is there a Feedback Edition?
Yes.

Portrait of Overdone Strengths

I don’t have any overdone strengths
You are a very lucky person – would your colleagues agree?

If the other person decides if my behaviour is a strength or an overdone strength how can I complete the portrait?
We know we have overdone a strength when we get feedback.  This feedback can be from others but also from ourselves, as we will be aware of when certain behaviours have not achieved the desired result.  So using your experience and thinking of when others have reacted in an unexpected way you can create your portrait like this.

I’m feeling bad about this instrument, surely I can’t be all of these negative things all the time?
Correct, and you are not these things and it is not all of the time.

Firstly, these are descriptions of the perceptions of others when they see you overdoing a strength.

Secondly, the portrait cannot describe how much time you spend overdoing these strengths in their eyes.  The Portrait only gives you a picture of the strengths relative to the others e.g. your top overdone strength may still only be perceived infrequently but it is still more frequent than all of the others.

All of my overdone strengths are the same as my MVS, why would this be?
Sometimes we try so hard to achieve our personal goals of self-worth that we do not see/hear feedback that we could be overdoing our strengths and when we do receive feedback we can justify it by declaring our intent was positive e.g. validate our own MVS.

My top six strengths are the same as my Overdone Strengths, why?
There are no hard and fast rules here but the law of averages says that if you use a collection of behaviours more consistently then it’s more likely that you will overdo these than behaviours you do not use so frequently.

Is there a feedback version of the Overdone Strengths Portrait?
Yes.

Can this be used in a 360 environment?
Yes, it’s especially powerful and easy to use when completed using the web-enabled software system.